How many times in your life have you been in a situation where you noticed you were different from the people around you?  Maybe it was your job, your ethnic or religious background, your political beliefs or the decisions you’ve made, or the friends you surround yourself with that were different from the people around you. Perhaps it was your choice to not follow the career path, the social circle, the cultural or religious expectations or the rites of passage (such as marriage and having children) that they told you you should.  You were different, the one that didn’t fit into one of the readymade categories society uses to classify people.

Do any of the following statements resonate with you?

  • I don’t fit in here.  Is there something wrong with me?
  • I shouldn’t rock the boat.  I don’t want to stick out.  What will people think?
  • Everyone else likes this career, likes being married, likes having kids, likes their culture or religion.  Why don’t I?
  • Where are the people like me?
  • I don’t fit in with the members of my own minority group.
  • Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else.
  • I’m tired of doing what “they” say I should do.  I did everything I was supposed to and I’m not happy.  Is this all there is?  Is this what my life is going to be like for the next 30 years?
  • I have this goal I want to accomplish, but I haven’t told anyone about it because people will think I’m weird.

This is where our work begins.

Your mind is your greatest asset.  The thoughts you have can either free you or imprison you. The luxury is you get to decide which one.  Coaching shows you different ways to examine your own role in your life and teaches you how to manage your mind instead of allowing it to manage you.

We can look at:

  • How you define who you are and how to honor that
  • How letting go of wanting to fit in increases your freedom and creates more opportunities to meet your people
  • Why there is nothing wrong with you
  • The side effects of living a half life and much more…

I work with people pioneering their own paths.  Society doesn’t create their life plan.  I work with women and men who are smart, inquisitive, independent thinkers. They are learning to take better care of themselves.  Some are defining their lives on their own terms for the first time.  Others are living lives they love and working towards their goals and dreams.  Some are seeking peace or a life with more joy. They are all committed to following through and doing the work to create what they yearn for.

Here are some examples of topics I’ve worked on:

  • Balancing allegiances to two cultures—the American culture in which you live and the culture of your heritage–such as immigrants, people with immigrant parents, first nation, minority cultures and more
  • Choosing the career and work-life balance you want
  • Examining beliefs about relationships, marriage and children
  • The importance of personal time for mothers who experience guilt and place themselves last on their list of priorities
  • Childhood abuse
  • The vulnerability that accompanies really being who you are and living that fully where others see it
  • Fears about failure and success
  • Taking full responsibility for your life
  • Understanding how our thoughts create the life we live

What yardstick do you use?

One of the factors that determines what you think of yourself is the measurement system you use.  So tell me…what yardstick are you using to measure yourself?

Is it the amount of money you make?

Is it the amount of integrity you have?

Is it your level of education?

Is it your belief system?

Is it your profession?

Is it how you treat others?

Is it the car you drive?

Is it all the “supposed to-s” you’ve completed?

Is it how large your house is?

Is it how much you give back to the community around you?

Is it what your kids do?

Is it how fulfilled you feel at night before you fall asleep?

Is it the number of women or men you’ve slept with?

Is it all in comparison to the people around you?

Is it all of the above?

Do you know what yardstick you’re using to judge yourself?  Comment below to let me know and read what others use to evaluate themselves.

Before you decide whether you’re a loser or you’re a somebody shouldn’t you at least identify how you’re measuring that?

Have you ever stood up to yourself?

It may seem like an odd question, but think about it.

We talk about standing up to bullies, parents, friends, teachers, bosses, and so on.

But when do we talk about standing up to ourselves?

Who stands up for you against you?

Who speaks to that part of you that bullies you, who beats you up, who is too hard on you, who doesn’t believe in you, who ignores what you need?

Consider this.

Do you step in when you’re telling yourself you’re dumb or you’re not ______ (fill in the blank) enough?

Do you consciously stop what you’re doing to yourself and intervene when you see you are comparing yourself to others and telling yourself you don’t measure up?

Who stands up to you on your behalf?

Your spouse, sibling, friend, relative, boyfriend?

If that is the case then it is good to know that you have some people in your life who recognize when you aren’t being there for yourself and then attempt to step in and speak to that part of yourself.

But the truth is that isn’t their responsibility.

That is your job.

Written in the description for the job of being a human being (in this case for being you) is a line stating you are your own responsibility.

All of you, every part of you, is completely your responsibility.

For some people that can be a lot to take in and accept.

Ask yourself today: Have I ever stood up to myself?

If the answer is yes, ask yourself: When was the last time?  What are some examples I can think of?  What was the result?

If the answer is no, ask yourself: Why haven’t I ever intervened and stood up to myself? What are some examples of situations when I think maybe standing up to myself may have resulted in a better outcome for me?  What would the better outcome have been? How would stepping in help me in the immediate moment?  How would getting involved regularly help me in the long run?

Do not look to others to take care of your inner life.

Follow no one.

Lead yourself.